"T'was the Night Before Bitch Party" - Ingrid

T'was the night before bitch party
and all through the house
all were still stirring
except the husband, the lazy louse.

He was sitting on the recliner
his feet propped on the footrest.
He was doing absolutely nothing
and giving it his absolute best.

The children were screaming and crying
a fight having broke out in their play.
but the bitch she just ignored them
determined to pack for bitch party anyway.

T'was the morning of Bitch Party
and all throughout the land
bitches had visions of holding a nice stiff drink
and a cigarette in the other hand.

On that faithful morning
they grabbed all their junk
ran right past their families
and through it in the trunk.

Before they ever arrived
at the annual bitch party site
They powered their first drink
the first of many they'd pour that night.

It was time to let go
have fun and get crazy
It really didn't matter what they did
as memories would probably be very hazy

T'was the Saturday of Bitch Party
and the bitches were a little hung over
It was still better than waking up to the husband
and his 6 a.m. boner.

That day they'd be tearing it up with their bitches
even taking over the local bar for an hour
Bitch Party was like their Queendom
and the barn was their tower.

The skits, hats, karaoke
and things
There was one question being asked right now
Who told that bitch she could sing?

Bloody Mary's, Mimosas, Buttery Nipples
and such
Who would have thought
bitches could drink this much.

T'was the last day of Bitch Party
and all through the camp
the bitches were slowly rousing
and wondering "why the hell are my pajamas so damp"?

"Could it be the alcohol
seeping through my pours"?
"Or did I spill a drink last night
of which there were scores"!

The remnants of last nights chaos
were scattered all about
And Elizabeth was running around
handing confiscated car keys out.

They said goodbye to their bitches
whom they would not see for a year
They had to return to reality of life
for which they shed a tear.

But a'las they hold their heads high
with their sanity in check and hearty
Nothing in the world could conquer these bitches
THEY HAD SURVIVED BITCH PARTY!